Life Rules

This list arrived in my e-mail a while ago now:

Home Rules:                                                   
1.   If you sleep on it - pick it up
2.   If you wear it - hang it up
3.   If you drop it - pick it up
4.   If you eat out of it - put it in the sink
5.   If you step in it - wipe it off
6.   If you open it - close it
7.   If you empty it - fill it up
8.   If it rings - answer it
9.   If it howls - feed it
10. If it cries - LOVE IT!

These are wonderful rules to live by, there are a couple more that my parents taught me along the way!

1. Don't argue with old people!           


The gift of age, gives them the advantage of experience and wisdom. They naturally look at a situation with reflection into the 'long run'. As Solomon said in Ecclesiastes, and Paul in 1 Corinthians 10:13, There are no new situations 'under the sun'. There may be a different or new way of expressing things, but the root problems are all the same.  I have always found that when I take my time and think carefully, I can see the wisdom in their advice.  Be especially wary if they stop talking to you, and just say "Have it your way". I've found they really recognize the answer, and  you are in big trouble if you don't pay attention!

2. The most precious legacy is the love and respect of a loved one.

The richest gift you can give or receive is the love and respect of a loved one. Not just in your family, but in extended family, neighbours, church, wherever. To give the free gift of your time, in listening, doing for, and helping someone. I have had the most wonderful times of my life, listening to the 'life stories' of  some of the older people I have met along the way. It is a peek into history, when I hear a personal story of someone who lived in a time I read about in school. So many of our personal stories are being lost as time goes by. I find that it is also wise to incorporate some of the ideas and habits I hear about into my life. I didn't incorporate the idea of one tea bag for several days, or leaving cut tomatoes out till they grow stuff - another story, told in a previous blog! Knowing the stories of a person's life, can help you understand why a person thinks and behaves the way they do. When someone is talking, don't just listen to their words, but hear their heart.

It is my opinion that true education begins at the knees of the special people God has placed in our lives.

Have a wonder-filled day!

Phoebe

My Son is Autistic, Not Stupid!

foxnewsinsider.com/2012/04/25shocking-story-audio-recordings-reveal-teacher-mocking-swearing-at-autistic-student/

A friend made me aware of this story yesterday. I can't remember how many times I have told people, that my son, Paul, who was considered non-verbal before 5 years of age, really DOES know what is going on around him. It has been documented in many cases, how autistic people who are able to communicate later in life, remember and comment on things that happened many years before.

In my family, Paul, who would not talk in front of people when he knew they were around, I saw talk in the mirror and comment on things that happened earlier. Even now, at age 33, he will run into people he hasn't seen in over 25 years, and ask how their family is, and where is the car they were driving at the time (he likes cars)! Usually his comments are followed by shock and stares from the person, who is shock just as much by the fact he was talking, as my his memory. I often refer to Paul to help me remember people's names, and where we saw them.

Please know, that although someone does not react in the manner you expected, it does NOT MEAN that they don't understand what was said, or what happened, it just means they can't communicate the way you do. It is my belief that the truth always comes out. Praise God, that the father in this story was able to get recordings of what was happening in his son's classroom.

I listen to my son. When he says he doesn't like someone, and I ask why, quite often he can't tell me why, he just says "Because I don't want to." That has to be enough for me. I know it will only hold up in the court that "mommy" keeps!

It doesn't matter if your child is considered 'special needs', or not, you have to listen, with wisdom and reason to not only what they say, but the behaviors they manifest.

"Every child born into this world is a new thought of God an ever-fresh and radiant possibility." (Kate Douglas Wiggin)

As parents, we are given this responsibility by God, to make the most of this blessing, and help them to be best person they can be.

Have a great day, and God bless,

Phoebe.

My Two Special Blessings From God

In my life, God has blessed me twice with healthy baby boys. My first born, Bob, has grown from a boisterous, mischievous, and fun-loving little boy, to a mature, loving and devoted husband and father. He and his wife have two little girls, aged 2 & 6 years. My second born son, Paul, while seemingly, normal when born, was diagnosed as autistic at 3 1/2 years old in 1982.

When I first sought help for him, before his diagnosis, his vocalizations were in a growling voice, he was terrified of loud noises (vacuum cleaner, street cleaners, blender), running water (shower, toilet flushing), and he had different perseverations (spinning, drumming, staring into nothing). Paul's early years were filled with visits to doctors, and agencies, and filling out forms; and even now, surveys for gathering early and follow-up data on autism. The professional help we received assisted us with learning different behaviour modification techniques.

Bob reading to Paul, the day he came home from the hospital.

Our family's favorite behaviour modification  technique was one for helping Paul control his fear of loud noises. Bob would keep Paul occupied in their room playing with cars or other toys, while I went in the kitchen and made milk shakes with the blender. After several times Paul associated the noise with something good, and started leading me by the hand to the blender, then running to their room! Bob continued to be my biggest helper with his brother, throughout their developing years. Sometimes, there were harrowing experiences, such as when Paul collapsed screaming and shaking in the middle of a major road on the way to a store, because he heard a transport trailer. Another time was when he collapsed in a fit of uncontrollable laughter when there was a minor fire from a short circuit in the house. After many years of consistent hard work, speech and behaviour therapy,  prayer, and many failures and triumphs we have come far with Paul, and as a family.

Bob and Paul in a local park.

I thank God for my two sons every day. They are both in a good place in their lives, and have both triumphed over life's trials and tribulations so far. Both my sons are blessed with a beautiful singing voice, and both enjoy raising their voice in song to Our Lord in church. Both my sons are very special gifts from God, and are a blessing for me. They are kind, loving and sweet-spirited men.

Thank you God, for the very special and precious gifts you have entrusted to my care.

Monday, April 2, 2012 is Autism Awareness Day, please wear some BLUE and say why!

Have a great day,

Phoebe

The Crafty Helper!

I like to paint, knit, sew, and many other things, all in all, Paul puts up with the whole thing in passive acceptance, but the dog; he likes to be fully involved! This last little while, I have been knitting bears. When I knit, the dog likes to lay right beside me with his nose touching me, or at lease as close as possible.
When I started stuffing the bears, I put the large bag of stuffing beside me, and "someone" couldn't get as close as he liked!

Paul got me the camera for me. my leg is at the bottom, Tom nosed his way under the bag to get close to the action!
I have added a picture of the finished products below.

I think these bears will go into my "stash" of presents for unexpected gifts! I'm not sure what my next project will be, but I am enjoying my time!

Have a great day,

Phoebe

Merry Christmas

Hi!  It's been a while, but like many others, I have been spending my time preparing for the Christmas Holiday. This is the first year I've been retired, and I planned to make the better part of my presents, so I have been knitting, painting, and cooking my way through my gift list!  I bought very few gifts this year, and I hope that the recipients will be happy.
I bought some plaques this summer, and painted them for presents, here they are:

The first, of course is a portrait of our dog, Tom for my son, Paul. The others are from pictures I have taken of the local scenery. Other than the regular toques and such, I knitted some kittens for my two granddaughters:

Christmas is almost under way now, I just have a little more baking to do and we are ready here!

Have a wonderful and blessed Christmas
Phoebe

Grandpa's Horses

When my sister and I were young, for a couple of weeks in the summer, we used to visit relatives in rural Ontario. We found it a pleasant diversion from city life; but in retrospective, I now realize it was invaluable for an educated and well-rounded personality. There is no better teacher than life experience.

I was thrilled to see this picture of my granddaughter and two of her cousins looking at her maternal grandfather's horses. I know they have other relatives who live in rural areas, and when I think of this, I remember those wonderful fun-filled days of my youth visiting the farms of relatives. Even when we were asked to do little chores, since the jobs were not a part of our everyday life, we didn't look at them as work.

I think every 'city kid' should have the opportunity to visit a farm at least once while growing up. There is not only the education of seeing where our meat and grains actually come from, and learning how to relate and take care of farm animals, but there is the more subtle knowledge that not everyone lives in the city, where the stores are 'down the street', or only a five minute drive away. They learn butter is churned, bread can be made in your own kitchen, and fruit and vegetables can be preserved for the winter. I learned not to be afraid to ask questions, to open my mind to new ideas and a different way of doing things.  I also learned about patience, planning ahead, and working toward a goal.

Wow!  All this from this delightful picture of three little girls, watching Grandpa's horses! 

Have a great day!

Phoebe

What To Do On A Rainy Day!

Oh my!      What to do after the person in the house has pushed me out the back door, to have me 'do my business' in the rain!  My feet, face, and coat get all wet, (which I don't like), and I can't roll in the grass! At least, after a full towelling I can roll around on the furniture when I come in!       It's not as much fun as when I help Phoebe with the gardening, I can chew on the extra branches, and run around with them until they are finished, I can help dig in the extra dirt which is all mine, and pea in the lavender and the groundcover, and the trees, I can run in the lilys, iris, hostas, and the 'hens and chickens'. She doesn't let me go near the 'vegetables' or the mint or other herbs,  I like to bark at the neighbourhood cats, squirrels, birds and I 'talk' with the other dogs who live nearby.  We compare our homes, and problems with the local cats.

Sometimes, when she really feels adventurous, we go for walks in the neighbourhood, the local pet store, or the park. The lady in the pet store thinks I am wonderful, which I know I am, I like it when she gives me extra treats to keep me busy while Phoebe talks to her.   When it's raining for several days, it's hard to find things to do in the house, I seem to forget that I found things to do in the winter, and my toys don't seem to be as much fun as being outside in the summer.   Maybe if I run around like a 'freaky pup' we will both get some excercise!

Thanks for the help today Tom!

Have a great day,

Phoebe