Is it necessary for us to regress mentally as we age???? Or, as Jenny Joseph suggests, are my elderly clients just 'having fun' with me?

My experiences with my mother braced me for today. Her favorite poem was 'Warning' by Jenny Joseph, and it starts with: "When I am an old woman I shall wear purple with a red hat which doesn't go------" If I say more, it is probably illegal, but you get the point!

My mother, bless her soul was a force to be reckoned with. She was fiercely independent and even until the end (cancer) she wanted things done just so. I remember when the doctor told her not to drive anymore, she threatened to go out whenever she needed; my sister Liz had to have our mother's car disabled. Mother stoutly refused to move in with either of us! She HAD to be independent.

Which brings me to today, 11 years later, and I am still being told where to put MY ideas of how things should be! I'm sure that one particular lady did NOT spit her pills on the floor twenty years ago! Now, the water pills are an irritation, (she calls them her pee pills, and she doesn't want to run to the bathroom all the time). As a result she complains about her legs swelling (I wonder why??)

Then, there is the one who thinks the soup she made four days ago is okay to keep there on the stove because it's winter, "Not in the house!" I say. "It's okay, I always do it this way". She also thinks tomatoes belong on the counter for several days after they've been sliced. I gave up and now just warn her when they start to grow mould! These people raised children and they lived! Did you know one teabag will last for two days worth of tea? Not for me, but there's a lady I see who must drink what I call dishwater tea!

There's always the old standby, "I don't need a bath because I haven't done anything all week!" And then there's: "Oh that shirt isn't dirty, I've only worn it for three days, can you see any stains?" One of my personal favorites is: "You don't have to change the sheets honey, I sleep on the top of the blanket with an afghan so they don't get dirty".

Then, there's the question of safety: "Oh honey, will you check the back burner on my stove, it set off the smoke alarm last night." It contained the remnants of a paper towel, I've also found those blue scrubbing cloths under the burners. I have several clients with those security buttons. One lady keeps hers on the table beside her bed, not that she stays in bed all day! Another keeps hers on the phone table so she can find it when the company calls to check.

"But", I say, "what if you fall and you can't reach it?" "Oh I'm okay, my daughter made me get it, and I'm just going to show her I don't need it!" In ten years of doing this job, there's only one person who made a habit of wearing HIS button! Is there a message there?

I'm sixty-one now, when should I buy a red hat and learn how to spit? Will my sons still love me and speak to me? Will my friends still recognize me?

I know Maggie will join in the fun! Everyone needs a friend to be silly with!

Have a grand day!

Phoebe