I happened upon a situation the other day where a "Mental Health Professional" verbally attacked a person because she manifested the behaviours of her previously diagnosed Obsessive Compulsive Disorder! I was astonished!
This particular lady is a client of mine, and her problem is hoarding. True, it is a challenging place to be, but the lady herself is a wonderful soul, and once I get her focused on what we have to do that day, we usually do fine. The other day, however, she was very depressed, bad for her, because when she is depressed, she MUST go shopping! The reason for her depression was the 'new girl' who just started last week, and whose job it is to help her. The 'new girl' spent the time criticising the apartment, dictating, and telling her to clean the place up!
Maybe in sports you can encourage by yelling and delivering negative comments, but NOT when it comes to serious mental or behavioural problems. I think the old adage, 'you get more flies with honey than vinegar', and positive reinforcement, works better here. Especially when you are talking to an eighty-ish very proper lady.
This situation reminds me of when Paul was about two or three, (early 1980's). Autism is still a mystery, and there are as many treatments as there are people with Autism. At the time we were still trying to figure out how to handle his problem and what made him afraid. I have 'burned into my brain' a comment made by one of the older ladies in my church: "Give me a week with him, I'll whip him into shape".
This comment came after something had upset Paul in the church basement, and he threw himself on the floor, and started to scream and shake. By this time, Paul was too big for me to pick up, and his older brother, Bob had to pick him up and we left immediately from the church. I remember thinking, if I didn't love my son so much, I would have taken her up on her offer. Since then, we have learned more about what makes Paul tick, and he has learned how to act in most situations. I think the best and only way to learn about someone is to listen, open your mind to their heart cries, and love with all your soul.
Paul is mine and his brother, Bob's personal love letter from God to us. We had the church, family, and many friends, near and far praying. I had a friend come from California, and she laid on hands also. There were many laying on of hands, and prayer circles, including Paul in prayer and worship, whenever possible. We had lots of help from the local Autism Resource Team, and the local Autism Society. It is my belief, however, that the family and all the people in the world can help, but it is God who opens the mind and spirit of the person, be they Autistic, or any other exceptionality.
I think this world would be a much happier place to be if everyone just accepted each person they met in this spirit. Not just for people with mental or behavioural problems, because, let's face it, not everyone wears a sign that says they have a problem. Accept me as I am, with all my warts, and idiosyncrasy's. I have to be me, you have to be you, and maybe that's what Valentine's Day is really all about. Jesus said:
"Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and everyone that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God. He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love. 1 John 4: 7,8.
Happy Valentine's Day!
Phoebe
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