Let Me Be Me!!!!!

I happened upon a situation the other day where a "Mental Health Professional" verbally attacked a person because she manifested the behaviours of her previously diagnosed Obsessive Compulsive Disorder! I was astonished!

This particular lady is a client of mine, and her problem is hoarding. True, it is a challenging place to be, but the lady herself is a wonderful soul, and once I get her focused on what we have to do that day, we usually do fine. The other day, however, she was very depressed, bad for her, because when she is depressed, she MUST go shopping! The reason for her depression was the 'new girl' who just started last week, and whose job it is to help her. The 'new girl' spent the time criticising the apartment, dictating, and telling her to clean the place up!

Maybe in sports you can encourage by yelling and delivering negative comments, but NOT when it comes to serious mental or behavioural problems. I think the old adage, 'you get more flies with honey than vinegar', and positive reinforcement, works better here. Especially when you are talking to an eighty-ish very proper lady.

This situation reminds me of when Paul was about two or three, (early 1980's). Autism is still a mystery, and there are as many treatments as there are people with Autism. At the time we were still trying to figure out how to handle his problem and what made him afraid. I have 'burned into my brain' a comment made by one of the older ladies in my church: "Give me a week with him, I'll whip him into shape".

This comment came after something had upset Paul in the church basement, and he threw himself on the floor, and started to scream and shake. By this time, Paul was too big for me to pick up, and his older brother, Bob had to pick him up and we left immediately from the church. I remember thinking, if I didn't love my son so much, I would have taken her up on her offer. Since then, we have learned more about what makes Paul tick, and he has learned how to act in most situations. I think the best and only way to learn about someone is to listen, open your mind to their heart cries, and love with all your soul.

Paul is mine and his brother, Bob's personal love letter from God to us. We had the church, family, and many friends, near and far praying. I had a friend come from California, and she laid on hands also. There were many laying on of hands, and prayer circles, including Paul in prayer and worship, whenever possible. We had lots of help from the local Autism Resource Team, and the local Autism Society. It is my belief, however, that the family and all the people in the world can help, but it is God who opens the mind and spirit of the person, be they Autistic, or any other exceptionality.

I think this world would be a much happier place to be if everyone just accepted each person they met in this spirit. Not just for people with mental or behavioural problems, because, let's face it, not everyone wears a sign that says they have a problem. Accept me as I am, with all my warts, and idiosyncrasy's. I have to be me, you have to be you, and maybe that's what Valentine's Day is really all about. Jesus said:

"Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and everyone that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God. He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love. 1 John 4: 7,8.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Phoebe

Is it necessary for us to regress mentally as we age???? Or, as Jenny Joseph suggests, are my elderly clients just 'having fun' with me?

My experiences with my mother braced me for today. Her favorite poem was 'Warning' by Jenny Joseph, and it starts with: "When I am an old woman I shall wear purple with a red hat which doesn't go------" If I say more, it is probably illegal, but you get the point!

My mother, bless her soul was a force to be reckoned with. She was fiercely independent and even until the end (cancer) she wanted things done just so. I remember when the doctor told her not to drive anymore, she threatened to go out whenever she needed; my sister Liz had to have our mother's car disabled. Mother stoutly refused to move in with either of us! She HAD to be independent.

Which brings me to today, 11 years later, and I am still being told where to put MY ideas of how things should be! I'm sure that one particular lady did NOT spit her pills on the floor twenty years ago! Now, the water pills are an irritation, (she calls them her pee pills, and she doesn't want to run to the bathroom all the time). As a result she complains about her legs swelling (I wonder why??)

Then, there is the one who thinks the soup she made four days ago is okay to keep there on the stove because it's winter, "Not in the house!" I say. "It's okay, I always do it this way". She also thinks tomatoes belong on the counter for several days after they've been sliced. I gave up and now just warn her when they start to grow mould! These people raised children and they lived! Did you know one teabag will last for two days worth of tea? Not for me, but there's a lady I see who must drink what I call dishwater tea!

There's always the old standby, "I don't need a bath because I haven't done anything all week!" And then there's: "Oh that shirt isn't dirty, I've only worn it for three days, can you see any stains?" One of my personal favorites is: "You don't have to change the sheets honey, I sleep on the top of the blanket with an afghan so they don't get dirty".

Then, there's the question of safety: "Oh honey, will you check the back burner on my stove, it set off the smoke alarm last night." It contained the remnants of a paper towel, I've also found those blue scrubbing cloths under the burners. I have several clients with those security buttons. One lady keeps hers on the table beside her bed, not that she stays in bed all day! Another keeps hers on the phone table so she can find it when the company calls to check.

"But", I say, "what if you fall and you can't reach it?" "Oh I'm okay, my daughter made me get it, and I'm just going to show her I don't need it!" In ten years of doing this job, there's only one person who made a habit of wearing HIS button! Is there a message there?

I'm sixty-one now, when should I buy a red hat and learn how to spit? Will my sons still love me and speak to me? Will my friends still recognize me?

I know Maggie will join in the fun! Everyone needs a friend to be silly with!

Have a grand day!

Phoebe

Cool Monday!

Well, here I sit on a Monday and I'm not going to work!! I think a mental health holiday is in order!

My stop will be a local National Park: Point Pelee, and since this trip is my mind, I will travel with my family, all of whom are not with me right now! Point Pelee is the southernmost point in Canada, and juts out into Lake Erie. It is a rich place for the local birders and butterfly watchers to visit in the season, but now, it is just beautiful! Peaceful, and quiet. In these pictures, you can see a hint of snow, and of course the ice on the lake!

I remember visiting there several (about 25) years ago, with some friends, and a student from the local university, who was originally from a farm in Kenya. He wanted to have pictures taken of him 'walking on water' to send home! Now he is back home, married and with two children, now teenagers! I wonder if he shows them his pictures?

Today is bright, and the air is brisk. Not bone-chilling cold, and the sun will just softly touch your face. There are a few birds out, I can just see in my mind, a scarlet cardinal partially hidden in a stand of brush. Of course there are squirrels around, aren't they everywhere?

My family and me just wander and wonder as we take in the beauty of God's handiwork. We travel around the main path to the 'point'. Our lives can be so busy, and sometimes full of trouble, there are wars, and tragedy, but God also gives us these hints of the beauty to be found when we meet Him after this life is over.

Thank you God for these times of peace, beauty, and the knowledge of Your Love for us!

P.S.: The pictures are from last winter, and show Bob and his daughter Izzie. Today, I have a bad cold and chose not to cough and sputter all over my clients!!!

Such A Long Time!

It's been such a long time since I've written in this blog, almost a month! I'm feeling guilty! We've had quite a holiday season this year. Scary (the cat) has calmed down, but just this week! I didn't resort to the rum, but I did try a tranquilizer (for her). It didn't work. I added it to tuna oil, but she must have smelled something different, because she wouldn't go near it! I guess God was working on my patience, because all it really took, was time and TLC!

One of the things that bothered her was my new running shoes. I wear runners (when the snow is not too high!) to go to work, and carry 'inside shoes' for inside my client's homes. Well, I guess Scary didn't like the smell of the new shoes, and they were one of the causes of her screaming fits. She would follow me around the house, and scream and hiss at my shoes! After much thought, I decided to spray them with an Avon product, well it masked part of the original smell, but then she just looked confused! The poor cat just stared at my shoes, with a bewildered look on her face, and followed me with her eyes!

I was bragging in early December about living in the Sun Parlor of Canada, winter has finally arrived! A record number of heavy (for us) snowfalls in just a month! Now we are entering a second 'deep freeze' in January! WOW! Still three months of winter left! Paul and I have been shovelling and spreading salt like crazy! I remember one year I don't think we used one bag of salt, this year we are on our fourth!

I'm so thankful the Lord laid it on my heart to do a serious Bible study each morning before I do anything else in the day. I know I need the grounding of His Word to give me courage and encouragement for each day. As it is with everyone, some days take more courage than others, but my family and I are healthy and relatively happy. I'm looking forward to working on my crafts and paintings again. I will start them tomorrow!

From today's study:
"The Lord bless you and keep you;
The Lord make His face shine upon you and be gracious to you;
The Lord turn His face toward you and give you peace." Numbers 6:24 - 26

God Bless,

Phoebe

The Mighty Power Of God

"We sing the mighty power of God,
That made the mountains rise,
That spread the flowing seas abroad,
and built the lofty skies,
We sing the wisdom that ordained
The sun to rule the day.
The moon shines full at His command,
And all the stars obey."

I was singing that beautiful hymn in my mind this morning, while I listened to the wind barrel and scream through my neighbourhood. I woke peacefully before my alarm this morning, and just relaxed in bed, listening to the "Mighty Power" and thought of the strength of Our Lord, of His mercy and quiet Peace. Then there was a sudden BUMP! I ignored it. How He can make the great winds, and the slight rustling breeze in the summer, and the huge snow storms that the Northern hemisphere has received this last week. We in Southern Ontario are now experiencing a fast melt, and this morning, high winds. Who knows what Our Mighty Lord has planned for next week!



My oldest son and his family came in from out of town on Christmas Eve, and had to leave after a too short time!! Still, I got to play a duet on the piano with my granddaughter, Izzie! Who knew "O Little Town Of Bethlehem" had such an intricate bass? Still, we had a wonderful time opening presents, and just playing and visiting. My joys and blessings abound this year, and I am grateful for all the blessings He has bestowed upon me.

My mind goes to a friend and his wife on the other side of the world, who are suffering the sudden loss of their only daughter. Better times will come, and I know they cannot see it now. I have some other friends who have lost their children, to disease and accident, and it doesn't matter how it happens, we all know children should outlive their parents! One of my girlfriends, who lost her son to a car accident eight years ago, came to my house last evening, after visiting the cemetery; her son's grave had sunk, and the marker was now under water due to the fast melt, she was heartsick. She said she felt like it just happened, and her son had just died. Feelings come and go, but I know, she knows, God will continue to comfort her.

I pray I never know that pain, but I know that whatever happens in my life; God will be there to hold and comfort me. He has been the only constant in my life, and will continue to be there for me. Even when He is silent, He is there!

I hope and pray that you all had a Blessed Christmas, and will have a wonderful, God Filled New Year!

P. S. :The BUMP was my garbage can which blew over in the wind! No big deal, in comparison
to what it might have been!


Phoebe

Off And Running For Christmas!!

These are called Topsy Turvy Dolls. They were made by slave mothers for their daughters who wanted to play with black dolls. As you can see, the skirts are reversible, so the skirt can hide the doll the slave owner didn't want to see. I add the notes to each doll to tell their story. I wanted to finish these dolls before my friend came to Canada this winter, for her to take home with her.

Now that all my "prerequisites" are done, I am charging full steam ahead into Christmas! Unfortunately, Scary is not ready for the holiday! Too many changes have been made in the last three weeks! First, one Friday in late November, the kitchen table had to be replaced, not fun for a cat who likes to be in charge of the house. Second, the following week, when I opened the back door, a local feral cat tried to run in the house! It didn't succeed. Scary screamed, that horror movie ear-piercing cat scream. Within a week there was trouble with the locks on my front and back doors. It was solved with some lubricant, but there was a delivery man, Paul and his worker who tried the door, and when I got home, I was at the front and back door before I finally got in. Scary screamed again just like the first time. Since then, she has been very touchy about everything in the house.

Last weekend, we set up for Christmas, which means changing furniture around, as well as the tree, and other decorations, and she was still miserable. Now, even though things are relatively calm, she is still very touchy. I am open for suggestions! She eats and used the litter box as usual, and doesn't seem to be in pain, just miserable! My girlfriend has suggested a cat psychiatrist, and tranquilizers! Another friend has suggested rum! (I don't drink, but she says it's worth a try, does she mean for me or the cat??)

Bye for now, and pray for me!

Phoebe

Finished the Painting!!!

I did it! Finally, I finished the painting, now I just have to finish some dolls I am making for a friend, and then we can set up for Christmas!



The cove in the painting is on the Detroit River in West Windsor off Russell Street near Brock, if your around and want to find it. As you can see the Canada Geese like to stay there. Under the tree you can see the goslings, (the scene takes place in the spring).

This will be a short note today, I have lots to do!

Have a GREAT DAY!!!

Phoebe