What's Really Important?

Everyone has been talking about the current economic troubles, how to survive, how to cut corners, without cutting your throat, and how best to use the time and money we have left over. Money left over, has NEVER been a problem for me! There's seldom any left over!

I'm reading a book "Addicted To Hurry" by Kirk Byron Jones. In it he challenges me, as the reader to re-asses my priorities, and make time to rest with God, and my family. It was a good time for me to find this book, I have been on a spiritual journey for the last several years. In this journey I have been trying to pare down my life, and include only the essentials for a comfortable life with my children, (adults that they are) close friends and family.

I think it all comes down to the title of today's blog, What is really important to you? Money we need for food, shelter, transportation. Do you need the extra car, the boat, the gym membership, the designer clothes? Take time to cook yourself, do your own laundry, hang your clothes on the line (in the summer when they won't freeze), dryers are good in the winter.

I love to hang my sheets out on the line in the spring and summer, they smell so wonderful when they come in, and also make me feel good while hanging them; even looking at them while they are drying. It is such a relaxing motion, the clothes gently catching the breeze. Relaxing work, like hanging clothes, gardening (growing my own vegetables saves me lots of money every summer) and home repairs, puts our priorities in order. You can see a tangible credit to the work, and in my case at least, it helps keep me grounded in my own past. My parents did their own work, and my sister and me were expected to carry our own load as a part of being in the family.

Maybe this recession will convince many more people to reassess their priorities, and discover what is really important in their lives. A pastor laid out relationship priorities very well for me: My time with God, Spouse (well, no spouse here), Children, Job, Family, Friends. We need a balance in our lives, and when that balance is 'out of whack' then we are going to suffer, either mentally, physically, or emotionally.

I hope you like the quilt, my friend Judy did, I took the picture several years ago and thought it would be a good addition to today's topic. Judy loves to quilt, and it is her way to relax and unwind from a hard day at work. We all have to have a relaxing outlet to our day.

Have a blessed day,

Phoebe

Let Me Be Me!!!!!

I happened upon a situation the other day where a "Mental Health Professional" verbally attacked a person because she manifested the behaviours of her previously diagnosed Obsessive Compulsive Disorder! I was astonished!

This particular lady is a client of mine, and her problem is hoarding. True, it is a challenging place to be, but the lady herself is a wonderful soul, and once I get her focused on what we have to do that day, we usually do fine. The other day, however, she was very depressed, bad for her, because when she is depressed, she MUST go shopping! The reason for her depression was the 'new girl' who just started last week, and whose job it is to help her. The 'new girl' spent the time criticising the apartment, dictating, and telling her to clean the place up!

Maybe in sports you can encourage by yelling and delivering negative comments, but NOT when it comes to serious mental or behavioural problems. I think the old adage, 'you get more flies with honey than vinegar', and positive reinforcement, works better here. Especially when you are talking to an eighty-ish very proper lady.

This situation reminds me of when Paul was about two or three, (early 1980's). Autism is still a mystery, and there are as many treatments as there are people with Autism. At the time we were still trying to figure out how to handle his problem and what made him afraid. I have 'burned into my brain' a comment made by one of the older ladies in my church: "Give me a week with him, I'll whip him into shape".

This comment came after something had upset Paul in the church basement, and he threw himself on the floor, and started to scream and shake. By this time, Paul was too big for me to pick up, and his older brother, Bob had to pick him up and we left immediately from the church. I remember thinking, if I didn't love my son so much, I would have taken her up on her offer. Since then, we have learned more about what makes Paul tick, and he has learned how to act in most situations. I think the best and only way to learn about someone is to listen, open your mind to their heart cries, and love with all your soul.

Paul is mine and his brother, Bob's personal love letter from God to us. We had the church, family, and many friends, near and far praying. I had a friend come from California, and she laid on hands also. There were many laying on of hands, and prayer circles, including Paul in prayer and worship, whenever possible. We had lots of help from the local Autism Resource Team, and the local Autism Society. It is my belief, however, that the family and all the people in the world can help, but it is God who opens the mind and spirit of the person, be they Autistic, or any other exceptionality.

I think this world would be a much happier place to be if everyone just accepted each person they met in this spirit. Not just for people with mental or behavioural problems, because, let's face it, not everyone wears a sign that says they have a problem. Accept me as I am, with all my warts, and idiosyncrasy's. I have to be me, you have to be you, and maybe that's what Valentine's Day is really all about. Jesus said:

"Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and everyone that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God. He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love. 1 John 4: 7,8.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Phoebe

Is it necessary for us to regress mentally as we age???? Or, as Jenny Joseph suggests, are my elderly clients just 'having fun' with me?

My experiences with my mother braced me for today. Her favorite poem was 'Warning' by Jenny Joseph, and it starts with: "When I am an old woman I shall wear purple with a red hat which doesn't go------" If I say more, it is probably illegal, but you get the point!

My mother, bless her soul was a force to be reckoned with. She was fiercely independent and even until the end (cancer) she wanted things done just so. I remember when the doctor told her not to drive anymore, she threatened to go out whenever she needed; my sister Liz had to have our mother's car disabled. Mother stoutly refused to move in with either of us! She HAD to be independent.

Which brings me to today, 11 years later, and I am still being told where to put MY ideas of how things should be! I'm sure that one particular lady did NOT spit her pills on the floor twenty years ago! Now, the water pills are an irritation, (she calls them her pee pills, and she doesn't want to run to the bathroom all the time). As a result she complains about her legs swelling (I wonder why??)

Then, there is the one who thinks the soup she made four days ago is okay to keep there on the stove because it's winter, "Not in the house!" I say. "It's okay, I always do it this way". She also thinks tomatoes belong on the counter for several days after they've been sliced. I gave up and now just warn her when they start to grow mould! These people raised children and they lived! Did you know one teabag will last for two days worth of tea? Not for me, but there's a lady I see who must drink what I call dishwater tea!

There's always the old standby, "I don't need a bath because I haven't done anything all week!" And then there's: "Oh that shirt isn't dirty, I've only worn it for three days, can you see any stains?" One of my personal favorites is: "You don't have to change the sheets honey, I sleep on the top of the blanket with an afghan so they don't get dirty".

Then, there's the question of safety: "Oh honey, will you check the back burner on my stove, it set off the smoke alarm last night." It contained the remnants of a paper towel, I've also found those blue scrubbing cloths under the burners. I have several clients with those security buttons. One lady keeps hers on the table beside her bed, not that she stays in bed all day! Another keeps hers on the phone table so she can find it when the company calls to check.

"But", I say, "what if you fall and you can't reach it?" "Oh I'm okay, my daughter made me get it, and I'm just going to show her I don't need it!" In ten years of doing this job, there's only one person who made a habit of wearing HIS button! Is there a message there?

I'm sixty-one now, when should I buy a red hat and learn how to spit? Will my sons still love me and speak to me? Will my friends still recognize me?

I know Maggie will join in the fun! Everyone needs a friend to be silly with!

Have a grand day!

Phoebe

Cool Monday!

Well, here I sit on a Monday and I'm not going to work!! I think a mental health holiday is in order!

My stop will be a local National Park: Point Pelee, and since this trip is my mind, I will travel with my family, all of whom are not with me right now! Point Pelee is the southernmost point in Canada, and juts out into Lake Erie. It is a rich place for the local birders and butterfly watchers to visit in the season, but now, it is just beautiful! Peaceful, and quiet. In these pictures, you can see a hint of snow, and of course the ice on the lake!

I remember visiting there several (about 25) years ago, with some friends, and a student from the local university, who was originally from a farm in Kenya. He wanted to have pictures taken of him 'walking on water' to send home! Now he is back home, married and with two children, now teenagers! I wonder if he shows them his pictures?

Today is bright, and the air is brisk. Not bone-chilling cold, and the sun will just softly touch your face. There are a few birds out, I can just see in my mind, a scarlet cardinal partially hidden in a stand of brush. Of course there are squirrels around, aren't they everywhere?

My family and me just wander and wonder as we take in the beauty of God's handiwork. We travel around the main path to the 'point'. Our lives can be so busy, and sometimes full of trouble, there are wars, and tragedy, but God also gives us these hints of the beauty to be found when we meet Him after this life is over.

Thank you God for these times of peace, beauty, and the knowledge of Your Love for us!

P.S.: The pictures are from last winter, and show Bob and his daughter Izzie. Today, I have a bad cold and chose not to cough and sputter all over my clients!!!